Our bulletin cover, E-Messenger, and “The Weekly Messenger” insert proclaim:  We Are a Stephen Ministry Congregation. But what does that mean? What is Stephen Ministry?

The Stephen Ministry program was established in 1975 by a minister, Rev. Kenneth Hauck, to assist with the ever growing need for pastoral care in his congregation. St. Mark’s program is about 15 years old. Stephen Ministry is a one-to-one lay caring ministry that trains, equips, and empowers lay caregivers—called Stephen Ministers—to provide high-quality, confidential, Christ-centered care to people who are dealing with tough times:  the loss of a loved one, diagnosis of a chronic illness, job loss, a move, divorce, or other life-changing event. Stephen Ministers meet weekly with their care receiver and are there to listen and be a compassionate companion—a caring Christian friend who provides emotional and spiritual support.

Do you have the gifts of compassion and listening? Perhaps God is calling you to be a Stephen Minister. If you would like more information, you can visit the Stephen Ministry web site at www.stephenministries.org or speak with one of our Stephen Leaders:  Steve Hendrickson or Karen Smith—email them at StephenMinistry@stmarks-elca.org.

Do you know someone who could use the care of a Stephen Minister? Contact one of the above leaders or the pastoral staff for a confidential referral.

Do you know someone in your life who might benefit from a Stephen Minister? It could be a relative, a neighbor, a friend, or even yourself. Stephen Ministers will be hosting a Zoom meeting on Tuesday, December 14 at 7:00 PM to share more details how Stephen Ministers can be a support during changing and difficult times. They will also share what this ministry has meant to those who have participated.

Mark your calendar to learn more about this important ministry at St. Mark’s. Call the pastors or email Steve Hendrickson or Karen Smith at StephenMinistry@stmarks-elca.org for more information. Zoom details will be available closer to the date.

Who do Stephen Ministers help?

Stephen Ministers care for people who are facing any difficulty, such as:

* Grieving
* In a crisis
* In need of long-term care
* Dying
* Hospitalized
* Divorcing
* Experiencing losses as they age
* Struggling with infertility or loss of a child
* Parenting difficulties
* Family and friends of people in crisis.
* Experiencing loneliness

Please call or email Pr. Albert or Pr. Varinia if you or someone you know will benefit of this ministry.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” —Matthew 11:28

The following is a letter to us all from a licensed professional counselor who urges us to take a different approach to the COVID-19 pandemic …

Finding Peace and Safety During COVID-19:  A Different Approach

Good afternoon friends,

I know we are all inundated with emails about COVID-19 so I'm sorry for adding one more. I hope this will be a source of hope and help rather than just one more source of fear and overwhelm. Please feel free to share with others as you feel led to do.

We are living in unprecedented times during the COVID-19 pandemic. There is an unusual amount of fear and panic in the air. We feel it when we listen to and read news articles on the subject. We see it in the supermarket with the bare toilet paper shelves, on people’s faces, and in their behaviors. The risks from COVID-19 are real for sure. We are wise to heed the recommendations our nations authorities are providing for us. At the same time, I wonder if we need to fall prey to the fear and panic. Is it possible there are ways for us to find a sense of safety, peace, and empowerment in the midst of all of this? I would argue … Yes!

As I continue to work with clients and live in my community, there are plenty of opportunities to have conversation about our experiences and concerns. My heart is warmed to see all the outpouring of support and love in so many ways. In order to find the place within ourselves to be able to offer and receive that love and support, we each need to connect with a feeling of safety and have the energy to do so.

My practice through the Center for Pastoral Counseling is focused primarily, although not entirely, on working with clients experiencing trauma and/or anxiety. There are differences between the two, but there are also many similarities. Working with clients on these concerns focuses around finding ways to help body and mind feel and know it is safe. Our nervous systems are designed to respond to threat and imminent danger. In trauma and anxiety, the nervous system registers a heightened sense of threat and danger that often translates across experiences beyond the actual initial threat. Thus, it shapes the nervous system to respond to even subtle similar triggers more often than it needs to. In order to help “retrain” the nervous system to help it know it is safe, we have to address change and healing from both body and mind. 

When working with clients, I have the opportunity to help share information and observations about what I notice happening. I frequently encourage clients to non-judgmentally notice how they feel physically and emotionally. If we are not aware of what we feel, we are not able to figure out what we need. While there is much more to this process than I can share in this brief article, I will focus first and foremost on providing some basic support to help people find that sense of inner safety.

My first recommendation is simple … Pay attention to yourself. Give yourself permission to notice how you are feeling and do so in a non-judgmental manner. You feel how you feel and there is likely a very good reason for it, especially right now.

How do you know if you feel anxiety or panic? Briefly, here are some of the signs of fear and panic that many experience:

  • Shallow breathing

  • Muscle tension/headaches

  • Fatigue

  • Stomach/digestive upset

  • Rapid heartbeat

  • Restlessness

  • Tightness in chest

  • Irritability/mood changes

  • Sleep disturbance

  • Appetite disturbance

  • Poor concentration

  • Scattered thinking

  • Worried thinking

  • Feeling stuck, immobilized

Once one notices some of these feelings, there are some basic natural things we can do to work to restore our bodies to inner safety and calm. I first recommend doing deep, diaphragmatic breathing. Simply put, take deep breaths into your belly and release with long exhales. We want to slow our rhythm of breathing. This sends the signal to the fear center of our brain that we are safe. The brain then resets and sends safety signals out to the rest of the body. Deep breathing is a component of many other calming practices. Here are just a few:

  • Yoga

  • Mindfulness

  • Progressive Muscle relaxation

  • Prayer

  • Meditation

Once you have restored a calmer breathing pattern you can try some other restorative practices as follows:

  • Listen to soothing music

  • Engage in creative arts

  • Exercise (running, walking, weight training, etc.)

  • Connect with those who are supportive and encouraging

  • Eat nutritious foods

  • Drink lots of water

Some things you might also want to do:

  • Be discerning about what sources provide you with your news. Seek sources that offer sound and factual information as opposed to fear based and questionable media /social media resources.

  • Limit how much and how often you put time and energy towards reading about COVID-19 and other related news information.

  • Turn off electronics at least one hour before bedtime and turn towards activities that induce calm and sleepiness.

  • Cut back on caffeinated foods and beverages

  • Cut back on sugar

While we are in these new and strange times, there are many adjustments and unknowns. That is for certain. We can approach these times differently. I hope you will find this information helpful. Please feel free to reach out to me if I can be of assistance in some way.

Blessings,

Audra Mrini, LPC, NCC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Center for Pastoral Counseling of Virginia

Contact information for Ms. Mrini available upon request from StephenMinsitry@stmarks-elca.org.
Permission to publish given by the author, who hereby grants St. Mark’s Lutheran Church permission to republish her letter on our website for use of our members and visitors.